Shape Up Jackson is back for 2020!  Having the opportunity to blog again as I join each of our contestants, is truly an honor.  Like the contestants, I will be working out in the gym and focusing on making better food choices to fuel my own weight loss goal.

Every contestant has their own, personal reasons why they joined the competition.  Last year, I made a commitment to push myself to do things that scared me or stopped myself from doing them because of my weight.  It was quite the journey to self-discovery that was both incredible and extremely challenging.   I pushed myself to attend a fitness class that literally kicked my butts and guts.  I learned how to ride a bike at 36 years old with the help of George Webster from P&T Fitness who not only made me feel comfortable but was my biggest cheerleader running alongside my skill.  We laughed and cried as I finally took off on my own.  I share these personal stories because they were huge physical accomplishments that happened because of the support of Shape Up Jackson.

I also found out that I had a lot of emotional weight to deal with alongside the physical weight I wanted to lose.  I was made acutely aware of how I handled stressful or emotionally difficult times, was to stuff my feelings with food.  When I chose to remove the comfort of food to stuff those feelings, I was forced to face those trying times head on.  It involved a lot of sweat and a lot of tears.  I saved the sweat for the gym and the tears for my drive home!

This year as we begin Shape Up Jackson together; it brings new opportunities, new goals and of course new challenges.  I made a commitment to myself and the readers of the blog to remain transparent in my journey of weight loss and self discovery.  I firmly believe that we go through trying times so that we can be a support to others in need.  As I rip the band-aid I am reminded that if my journey can be helpful or encouraging, then it’s worth sharing.  Last year through several highs and lows, I decided to file for divorce.  I share this because it has been the most painful decision I have ever made.  Every decision made after that, felt like it held the weight of the world.  There were (and still are) days that I have felt like all I could do was just take one more step.  Focus on the “needs” of the day and that was the accomplishment.  Allowing myself to actually “feel” my feelings, forced me to make some pretty huge decisions in my life.  Ones that even a year ago, would have crippled me in fear.   Have you ever experienced that type of fear?  The kind that leaves you incapable to make any changes in either direction.  I have felt and am working through that fear to acknowledge that it means I am pushing myself past what I “think” I can do, to things that I am strong enough to accomplish.

What does this have to do with weight loss, you may ask?  For me, absolutely everything.  If you have ever turned to food to provide fulfillment, relief of boredom or any of the other emotions we feel, you know that a huge life change can bring up many “old” habits to the surface.  I found myself retreating from family and friends that loved me, to deal with things on my own.  I felt that if I didn’t deal with what was happening in my personal life, I could just pretend it would go away.  What I learned last year through the sweat and tears I mentioned earlier, went out the window.  The excuse of a busy schedule kept me from working these frustrations and fears out.  As thankful as I am to not have gained the 46lbs I lost during last year’s Shape Up Jackson, I certainly have not lost any more.

I’ll be honest, this year I am in a completely different headspace than I was last year.  As I learn to work through my current struggles, I am reminded that I am not alone.  That has been the biggest lesson I have learned in the last several months.  I do have people that love me and want to support me through whatever I am going through.  I have my “tribe” of people that only want to see me succeed.  Losing weight may be the biggest challenge we will face in our lives. Taking control of an area that has controlled us for far too long will force us to make better decisions when it comes to our health.    Let me encourage you to find your “tribe” of people that will lift you up when life becomes heavy.  Allow people to be there for you while you are working through the areas in your life that you haven’t shown others.  The Shape Up Jackson contestants are your tribe.  On the difficult days when the last thing you want to do is show up for the gym, let them encourage you because you’ll really be showing up for yourself.

I am once again honored to be walking alongside each one of you on this journey.   I promise not every blog will be this “heavy” (pun intended; it is a weight loss blog) but this is where we start.  We take a long hard look at the areas in our life that we want to change, and we change it.  Together!

Here’s to hoping through the next 8 weeks, we find that we love drinking all the water and we learn to figure out how to make sweet treats out of riced cauliflower!

-Jenny Lewis-